Official Left Coast Revue Endorsement

Media outlets from all over the world have been breathlessly awaiting this moment. Campaigns have been beating down our door asking for it. And now, after much ado, we are proud to present our official Left Coast Revue Democratic Presidential Candidate Endorsement:

Yep. It's Hillary. And if you're thinking about voting for Bernie Sanders, let me 'splain something to you: get fucking real.

Argument the First: Bernie Sanders lives in lala-Land

I like Bernie, I really do. All his talk about how he's going to break up the banks and restore income equality and tax the shit out of everybody to make it happen, boy that sounds like a nice little fantasy. Except hold up - how in the hell would this ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever get through a Republican-controlled congress? Pro-tip: it wouldn't. Not ever.

So the only viable path to Bernie being able to implement any of his ideas is to win both chambers of congress along with the presidency. That will take a legitimate political revolution, which is what Bernie is pitching, but I don't believe that's in the cards.

We still have a massively divided political situation in this country. We still have many dozens of gerrymandered districts giving Republican seats across the United States. Examples:

What you're looking at here are the completely fair and impartially drawn boundaries of some republican-designed congressional districts throughout the United States. No negroes or poors allowed. In sum-total, democrats won 1 million more votes for congressional races in 2014 but are still down 33 seats in the house.

It's shit like this that makes the Bernie Sanders Political Revolution (tm) a lost and hopeless cause.

Argument the Second: Hillary Will Do It Better

You might think to lead an article like this by singing the praises of my candidate, and I'll get there. But I lead with a take-down of Sanders because that's almost more important to me than what I like about Hillary.

The fact is, Hillary's not super charismatic or exciting. She's sober and calculating and has been laying plans for this presidential campaign since she was probably 24 years old. 

Something that stands out to me is that the Clinton Formula is proven to work. The 90s were as good as it got in the US. Economically, life was never better. We didn't get involved in stupid wars. We had sound economic policies at home and abroad. We were respected in the world.

Generally speaking, I expect more of the same from Hillary. We are going to soberly steer this ship towards the left.

By contrast, Bernie is an Old Man screaming "GIVE ME THE WHEEL!!!". He's lunging over the driver's seat scrambling for access, and if he gets it, he's going to yank the wheel so hard that we're going to spin out, lose control, and probably hit a tree or some pedestrians. 

You cannot change the course of a ship like the USS United States overnight. You can't crank the wheel over and expect it to just drive in a new direction. There's too much momentum. The only reason Bernie Sanders has not been obliterated from the map by the republicans is because no one takes him seriously.

Argument the ThirdBernie Cannot Win

If Bernie gets the nomination, we're moving to the right. Seriously. I will vote Republican, and so will everybody else whose tax bracket could jump 35%. I'm not voting for someone who wants to raise the marginal tax rates for high earners to 70% or more. Now it could be that maybe he'd only target the very tippy-top earners with tax increases, but I'm both happy and sad to say that I think my family would be affected. Right now I think it's fair to pay about a third of my earnings as taxes, even though that's a lot of dough and it hurts.

But free college for everybody, paid family leave, $15/hour minimum wage across the board, Universal Health Care - that shit is gonna be expensive. We can tax the top 1% but there's no way it's going to fall on just them. If you're in the upper 25%, you should expect to see a massive tax raise. Bernie hasn't talked about this but that's the only way it will really work, and fuck that. I don't want to work my nuts off all year and then give 50% of it to the government. It's like the most Republican thing I could say, and it's maybe a bit sickening to say and hear, but it's the truth. I care about my income because I want to spend it on my family and a boat and a sports car.

And while no one cares what I think specifically, I guarantee you that there are a large number of liberals like me who really want to see this country move left, who want to see income inequality reduced and want to see Bernie's positions become more of a reality, but we're not willing to pay for it. "But the Rich Will Pay for it!" you say. And I say, show me the tax plan. Bernie hasn't done it. Show me how you'll actually pay for this shit and just maybe I would get on board with you Bernie. 

The bottom line is that he's full of promises and short on details. Hillary's short on charisma but much, much stronger on making me feel like I know what's coming in the next eight years.

So maybe you're pissed about where the US is now, and you want to see radical change. I get that. But a vote for Bernie is a vote for Marco Rubio. 

Dan DiCiccoComment